“Anything can be told to a friend.”
Seven words brief enough to be interpreted as a trite observation, and
also truncated enough to be undervalued for the wisdom it imparts.
Being able to confide in a friend with no risk of betrayed confidence
is one of the jewels of life. If we are honest with ourselves, seldom do such
deep and trusted relationships occur.
I mean no slight to my “friends” on social media, I am grateful for
all thoughtful interactions and support whether it be of slight interaction or
of more depth.
But, I do not think anyone mistakes the Facebook definition of “Friend”
for the deep interplay of shared values and twining experience that is the definition
of true friendship.
If we are fortunate in this world, we have many amiable acquaintances,
people with whom friendship may in fact be in the cards given the right circumstances.
Gregarious acquaintances are not to be under-valued, a pleasant voyage
through life with amiable companionship is a boon.
But we are more fortunate if we have even one individual who stands the
test of absolute trust and is worthy of the oft-used word “Friend.”
A friend is someone in whose trust it would never occur to you to
question. If you have trust concerns with a “friend” they may not in fact be your
“friend” at all in the strict definition of the word. That “friend” may in fact
be only an acquaintance, or even less than that—simply someone you know.
A friend is someone you share not only the good but the bad. That is a
rarity. Many folks are Johnny-on-the-spot when there are glad tidings to go
around, but a shade scarce when the clouds loom.
That observation is no judgment call about those who would rather not listen
to our bitches and gripes. I, myself, have a mighty low tolerance for
conversations that never get past the “whine” menu. That intolerance says something
about where I and the given individual stand on the acquaintance-to-friend continuum.
The better the friend the more I am able to ingest the bad.
But, a true friend seldom tests that intolerance because a true friend
has little compunction to belabor someone they have true affection for with
petty inconveniences.
A “friend” who offers a high ratio of “whine” as opposed to a high
ratio of laughter, smiles, thoughtful conversation is using you as a sounding board.
They are devious chefs who pepper you with unappealing hors d'oeuvres and unsavory side-dishes while only occasionally providing heartier sustenance.
A friend is the fine chef who is concerned with your welfare and wants
you to eat well and eat well often.
A friend is also someone who when they do offer something less than appealing,
you don’t turn your nose up immediately and head for another restaurant. You
sample the dish to divine why this less than appetizing fare is offered when
all else is so delightful.
A friend allows you to be mistaken. A friend allows you to be, well,
you.
Friendship is earned, and it is maintained by continually earning that
commodity of trust.
Abuse of that trust is no friendship.
I am goddamned lucky enough to have such a friendship in my life.
I hope we can all say the same.
I do not take such a jewel lightly.
"Megum við öll eiga sanna vini og góða kunningja og visku til að þekkja muninn. Megum við öll greiða viðeigandi skatt. "
“May we all have true friends and good acquaintances,
and the wisdom to know the difference. May we all pay appropriate tribute.”
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